Tuesday, 24 April 2018

HOW TOP UGANDAN CLERICS EXHUME THE GHOSTS OF RELIGIOUS INTOLERANCE



It is clear from our history that we have always had different views on politics and creed. When political power has been used to suppress religious freedoms, it has turned out to be a bitter phlegm for us. We wish to forget Mwanga’s killings of the martyrs at Namugongo. When Idi Amin took over power in 1971, the decade that followed witnessed religious persecution of epic proportions. Janan Luwum’s coldblooded murder is a relic of the religious witch-hunt in our country.  

To restore liberty of religious expression and burry the evils of Mwanga and Amin, Ugandans entrenched in Article 7 of the Constitution that Uganda shall not adopt a state religion. This means, that such a position can only be reversed by a referendum and not just majority votes by Members of Parliament or another branch of government. The Constitution provides a haven for incubation and debate of religious ideas, recognition of African Traditional practices in the main stream, a sprinkling of atheists; some visits from the papacy, different shades of Protestantism and Islam. Our small country is a melting pot of many tribes, clans, cultures and beliefs. Tolerance and acceptance of diversity is the only way to make this shrubbery work out.

However, we have returned to that place where our leaders are using political power to revert this country to Amin days in terms of religious persecution. Are we comfortable turning Uganda into another Syria or Afghanistan on religious grounds? If we choose selective amnesia of our history, we can at least channel surf on the television and learn from the mistakes being made in our day.

Where persecution from Rome may have united the disciples, an unholy alliance never helps the Great Commission. Rather than get more lost sheep through the narrow gates of the sweet by and by, Uganda’s clerics have been caught up in a fight for influence over disillusioned followers. Rather than put faith in the maker, they have become extensions of political ideology and their hope is in patronage by government.

It is said that some clerics have even given up preaching of the gospel and are running typical NGOs, social gatherings and business empires. They now find issue with almost everything Jesus did: from healing the sick to prophesying and rebuking the tax collectors.  Preaching “good news to the poor” is now labelled prosperity gospel and ostracized. What Jesus and his disciples did is now considered demonic and is being guillotined at the altar of science and secular humanism; even on pulpits!

These clerics are so in sync with social indulgence that they rush through the program so that people do not miss the beach bash or a Sunday pint. What is left of the soul cleansing abandon sessions is a prompt catchup laced with a few verses from the Holy Book, some motivational pep talk and anecdotes; and nicely produced Karaoke segments. Occasionally, there will be some bible labeled dramas and concerts. Apart from the lyric, all frenzy and after partying is like the run of the mill proggie. Churches are now painting zebra crossings and growing trees; a mission no different from the Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) of secular companies. Is that the father’s business which Jesus was always about?

Some religious leaders have been so inebriated with State endorsement that they are mini-governments running schools, universities, real estate empires and banking institutions. This should not be a problem until they start getting cast in the Wolf of Wall Street in a class Machiavellian act. Some clerics have become so political that rather than being bearers of light, they are pawns for cunning devices to political ends. The lines of their calling and sellout have been blurred beyond recognition. As it appears, some overzealous religious leaders are willing to stare into the abyss beyond conventional morality to upstage those they consider competition.

The irony is that despite the unholy alliance between State and Clerics, a wave of genuine seekers has continued to flock gatherings led by men whom the religious cartel did not ordain or anticipate. Genuine seekers  in their hearts know what they want and no amount of regulation or stifling can change that. This reality is making most of the old guard irrelevant and insecure. They have therefore embarked on an aggressive attack on fellow believers using state machinery in finance, taxation and regulation. KCCA which is apparently led by a strong Christian was the first to ban street preachers. If Jesus preached on our streets, he would be behind bars by now at the hands of our religious leaders. How cliché!

Unknown to most Ugandans, laws and policies are being scribbled by a select few, exclusive meetings are being held at odd hours every so often to fine tune the assault. This has been going on for a while and despite the detour into age limit debate and other trivia, some clerics have made it their life mission to persecute other believers and will not rest until they do so. Before long, hotels will be told to reject some religious gatherings or lose their licenses, churches will be told how to use their collections, to appoint and fire their leaders at the pleasure of clerics who do not even care about their beliefs. 

Rather than preach what they believe, the unconventional believers will be required to recite manuals of dead theology and politically correct agendas crafted by the unholy alliance of the religious cartel and government.

These clerics have declared themselves conventional and therefore everybody else outside their social club is unconventional. They try to massage the public image with anecdotes of religious excesses such as Kibwetere and holy rice but conveniently ignore holy water from Namugongo, sale of rosaries, endless construction projects and compulsory contributions to their organizations. We already have enough Penal Laws and ethical codes to curb excesses and another layer of regulation is the last thing we need.  

Foundational canons of our system are the presumption of innocence and fair hearing but it is convenient for these leaders to prosecute and convict citizens in the courts of public opinion to frame a regime that suits their ambitions.

It is public knowledge that some of the biggest patrons of conventional religious organizations oscillate between churches/ mosques and shrines where child sacrifice is performed. Yet these are the people sitting on a religious high horse and telling people how to pray.

To achieve the double purpose of testing the waters and chipping the crusts off religious freedoms, a few measures have been piloted in media and policy. Some of these have been in banning of broadcast material, denying licenses and clearance to gather and stereotyping different gatherings in pigeon holes of acceptable and unacceptable based on flamboyance, average age of gathers, style of preaching and emphasis.

Religious freedom in Uganda suffers an existential threat and by the time these clerics are done, one will not be able to say, “Jesus is Lord” or pay tithe without express permission from this religious cartel. It should be suspect to all of us that despite century old doctrinal differences amongst the Muslims, orthodox, Anglicans, Roman Catholics and Traditionalists; we see them captioned on a round table agreeing on religious issues. If these clerics have wormed their way into the reigns of state machinery, we should anticipate a Crusade / Jihad that will make even Idi Amin rotate in his grave. Maybe we have not always paid attention to the creeping erosion of our rights, but the tide is rising and it is rising fast.

The Writer is a Lawyer and Author.


WHY WOULD URA PLAY PONZI SCHEME WITH THE UGANDAN ECONOMY?



A lot of ink has been spilled in discussing the anomalies surrounding Uganda Revenue Authority (URA)’s recent directive to banks in Uganda to provide all customer financial behavior over a stretched period of time. To even deliver on this Key Performance Indicator (KPI), banks may need to revise their human resource assets and scheduling to cater for another cog in the wheel. Before I take leave of the general considerations for the ongoing onslaught, I lend credence to the idea that the state of revenue collection and invariably the footprint of a tax base determines whether a government will have the resources to fund its activities. Secondly, the banking sector survives on cardinal tenets one of which is trusting in a bank to keep a customer’s information confidential. It would be bad enough for a bank to have a data mole in its personnel, how worse for it to hand over its clients’ details “fwaa?” There will also be interpretation challenges on the sections of the law relied on by URA to claim such an overreaching mandate as well as egocentric muscle flexing with traditional bank regulators and professional bodies.

Of-course inter sectoral information sharing is not new even for banking. The Know Your Customer (KYC) requirements for most transactions, the Financial Intelligence Authority (FIA) oversight and URA investigations from time to time are few of the legitimate exceptions to sacrosanct confidentiality requirements. This is usually to fight money laundering, manage risk / exposure and properly evaluate assets against which facilities are granted.

In recent times, outcries on Uganda’s fiscal regime have been majorly centered on questionable spending such as: the junk chopper saga, the fighter jets, election cash flows, involvement in foreign peace keeping missions and the civil service wage bill. Granted, there have been some deliberations on if we have effectively harnessed natural resource revenues and if we need to ring fence oil and gas windfalls for infrastructure but the minimal expertise in extractives coupled with the secrecy that surrounded the initial Product Sharing Agreements (PSAs) limited public participation at a beneficial level. The limp of the shilling, the constant strikes for higher pay and accumulating arrears of civil servants speak to the fact that there is a liquidity issue in our country. To mitigate this funding gap on vital sectors, money has to be found from every nook and cranny. However, if we react rather than chart the course, we could land the nation in dire straits.

URA like most parastatals created every other day is a baby of the present political leadership. It was born from a desire to streamline sectoral performance and ensure service delivery inhibited by large ministries. For the wanainchi, parastatals present remuneration opportunities beyond the meagre civil service retainer. What some remember about URA is the crack down on smuggling which was led by the recently relieved Inspector General of Police who commandeered an energetic contingent of “Christian Youths” to plug holes at border points and customs. However with the rumors that URA is planning to selectively tax some men of God, it appears that the reverence for the charitable work of the cross is petering away from its ranks. URA has done a great job in curbing smuggling and increasing government collections over the years but there is discussion on reducing the number of parastatals; there is no telling yet who will survive the axe.

My concern is that, caught in an off moment of naval gazing, URA could have played Russian roulette with this move on banks. Like wanton lads toying with juvenile experimentation, most Ugandans have indulged in Ponzi schemes at some point. At the very least, we are all guilty by association. Ponzi schemes usually get off to a flying start, pushing the pioneers up the pyramid of lottery stardom until the base is too weak to support the superstructure and it tumbles down, Humpty Dumpty! Woe unto those who join in the evening of the bonanza. Uganda is presently pushing for financial inclusion for businesses and individuals still eluding the grid. With only one private social security Fund, a good number of the population still unbanked, hazy regulation of e-transactions, there is a lot of work to be done in getting every Ugandan on the Big Brother financial platform. Ministry of Internal Affairs is doing its job of registering and giving out identity cards, the people in ICT are working to increase mobile phone coverage, banks are piloting different products by the day and crypto currency is not sleeping either. If URA hoped to get more money out of the rich Ugandans, getting bank information will not guarantee more numbers. It will only capture a young corporate’s rental income from irregular tenant payments from units in Zirobwe on Gayaza road. URA will speculate its assessment and the hapless lank will fail to pay and revert to living hand to mouth. The ultra-rich one percentile will dig tunnels in their compounds and stuff them with Benjamins, move a few more into Swiss Accounts or play some mirage pin-pong of assets via the Cayman Islands. The old brewer in Kahoko Nyakagyeme, unafraid of poll tax, without any finger print in microfinance will not pay tax despite the aggressive initiative. End of day, the minority working class paying a huge percentage of their earnings to NSSF, URA via PAYE; internet bundles, taxis or fuel; javas or KFC, daycare and rent will have to fork out another chunk to tick the boxes.

At a time when Facebook is battling one of the biggest data mining scandals, at a time when every app is asking for permission to access contacts, pictures, location; girlfriend number two, bathroom keys and everything in between; a move to pry into people’s financial life does not help the apprehension. Regardless of whether litigation results from this or URA rescinds its directive, the scare might see a dramatic decline in bank deposits, a reluctance to transact online and move back to paying bride price in actual cows! This will not be the day I talk about WhatsApp and Facebook tax or the “pornography detecting machine” but oh well. So many macro-economic initiatives may easily have been regressed by URA’s bold step.


The writer is a Lawyer and Author
Published by
http://nilepost.co.ug/2018/04/14/why-would-ura-play-ponzi-scheme-with-the-ugandan-economy/

Friday, 6 April 2018

WHO IS BEHIND UCC BAN ON BROADCASTING OF SPIRITUAL MATERIAL?



In recent weeks, Uganda Communications Commission (UCC) has been worked into what some have termed “a frenzy of issuing memos” warning media houses, recalling licenses and banning several others for broadcasting material considered in breach of set standards. The first time I saw one of the UCC letters on social media was in relation to a warning to one of the media houses for wanton excesses by some panelist (s)/ guest (s) on a popular show. I surmise that since the show was a popular one, the warning was a paper tiger soon to be jettisoned in the front desk trash can. The most recent of these heavy-handed moves has been on the broadcasting of what is termed as “witchcraft”.

Religious expression and spirituality are inherently complex and matters of esoteric appreciation when it comes to fine details. The Witchcraft law in place is as archaic as 1957 and its colonial birthday typifies the sort of ideology colonialists had on African culture and practices they considered forlorn to their concept of civilization. This law excludes from the definition of witchcraft, what it terms as, “bona fide spirit worship or the bona fide manufacture, supply or sale of native medicines”.  This ambiguity seems to seep into the actions of UCC in its quest to protect “bona fide worship”. Ask yourself, “What does “bona fide” mean, who determines it and what is the yardstick?” This law has been minimally tested in cases such as the 1997 case of Salvatori Abuki v Uganda where court frowned upon the vagueness and scope of some of the sections of the law but did not think it unconstitutional warranting an omnibus overhaul.

On the face of it, the unsuspecting public would be made to believe that there is a watertight case and generic appreciation of what “witchcraft” is. This is a moot point. It is no surprise, that UCC cleverly weaved into the context of its actions, references to “fraud”, “computer misuse” and “penal laws”. Could this suggest that the law regulating spiritual worship is not sufficient to justify such bans? Is it coincidental that armchair commentators have jumped onto the tide demanding that UCC extends its ban to what they termed as “fake” pastors, miracles, churches and the like? I think not.

Uganda like most African contexts has an entrenched accommodation and respect for spiritual expression. There was a time when the leadership of this country moved to turn it into a religious state pushing many preachers and missionaries into caves. The will of the people and the charm of time wore those gloomy days away. Most people you meet will confess to have deferred to a higher power at some point in their lives and if they have turned from piety, it is usually because of disillusionment with the promises from the pulpit, weariness with the routines of the pews, supposed academic enlightenment or defiance against the images of stained glass and spires. We take cognizance of the fact that previously, at least a couple of top ranked government officials have asked media to escort them in visiting and appeasing their ancestors; broadcast the details for our consumption but the disdain in whatever form did not lead to bans on the material or calls for resignation of the officers. It bears repeating that the leaders in question were candid and unapologetic not just about their affiliation with ancestral worship but also about their brazen expression of it.

In a country where we by law; acknowledge human kingdoms, chiefdoms, and the attendant imperial cultism, the situation of spiritual affiliation and expression is more complex than UCC would like us to believe. The fact that there is a market or audience for such broadcasting in a clattered media environment, does not mean that Ugandans are gullible and naïve but that they are deliberate about what they choose to believe and consume. The example of the leaders that I alluded to earlier, the corridor whispers about superstitious practices among the who is who in this country; the veiled ritual practices prevalent in institutionalized religions in our country speak to the fact that spirituality is very much a part of us; for some as a closeted guilty pleasure or concealed knife in battle, for others as a mark of pride and overt extension of their identity. To ferret out such affiliations and sanitize our society to that acceptable practice (whatever it might be), banning some people from expressing their beliefs on narrowed interpretation of their supposed excesses is not an act of justice. 

The Constitution from which government organs derive their regulatory mandate enshrines the power of governance in the people of Uganda. This makes the leaders in government institutions; trustees of the mandate and conscience of their people. The people have entrenched in Article 7 of the Constitution that Uganda shall not adopt a state religion. It requires a referendum to change this position but rather than rock the boat, some individuals would use state ballast to bore holes in its bilge. Policies and guidelines issued by regulators must always be in conformity with the Constitution. Should the media houses or concerned citizens choose to challenge UCC’s Draconian approach, they should have their day in the courts of justice albeit at the taxpayer’s expense.

This leaves one plausible plot for this saga. In the recent past, a group of religious leaders whose repertoire merits the term “historical” have found issue with what they consider liberal minded religious waves and gatherings led by “flamboyant” young people driving “air-conditioned cars”. The presiding guardians of the vestments can no longer blame poverty and illiteracy which was the stereotype of the “kiwempe movement”. To reclaim the patronage of the vibrant middle class and elites flocking these gatherings, the “Old Guard” has resorted to micro-regulation by pushing for institutionalization of worship, amendment of laws and policies such as the infamous, “Draft Policy on Faith Based Organisations”.  It would be interesting to find that they have penetrated UCC and are using sympathizers in the system to kick against the pricks by micromanaging broadcasting content. Could UCC be casting a wide net to target a big fish? We can only wait and see what happens next but as an old fable says, “Sometimes, there is no way to hold back the river”.

By Matsiko Godwin Muhwezi

Lawyer & Author


 published by https://www.newvision.co.ug/new_vision/news/1474977/ucc-bans-broadcasting-spiritual-material

Monday, 6 November 2017

FOR DANCE LOVERS


You know I have great respect for people who are good at their craft (well now you do!) like really good in an original genius way not karaoke ish. I was an okay dancer myself but I never made a dime from it, thanks to all you herRaz! I try to keep tabs on the biggest talent shows in the world to look out for that diamond in the rough; most times I pick the winner from the auditions and I usually get it right. I didn't give BGT to Tokio Meyers but he was by far the stand out act. I did not give X Factor to Matt Terry and no wonder Syco did not sign him.

Anyhow, there's been this dance show which ended like a month back; World of Dance produced by the ageless Jennifer Lopez. Derek Hough was the out and out dancer on the panel but we can concede that JLo and Neyo have done their share of choreo in music. The show attracted some of the biggest names across different dance genres in the world; Kinjas, Jabba Wokeez, Super Crew etc. From the start, I knew Les Twins would win.

These French 26ish twins (too lazy to google) had that sort of fascinating story. They walked at 5 months (mbu), danced before they could talk and have never had any formal dance training. They couldn't speak much English until they met Beyonce a few years ago. They've toured with big names in the business and this would probably be their American break. Or it would be their first million dollars not francs. 

Their routines were not the cleanest, (you can't beat kinjas on synchronization) they did not do the biggest tricks like high flying super crew nor were they sick contortionists like Eva Igo. With a broken leg, they beat arguably the biggest ballroom duo in the competition. How do you score a perfect mark from one of the judges and still lose to an injured act? People think that the show was rigged, maybe the fact that JLo has twins helped; maybe the categories too. Would they have beaten Kinjas or Jabba Wokeez in a face off early in the competition?

Without Korean group Just Jerk in AGT final, I would only think of Light Balance and Merrick Hanna deserving of any silverware. Merrick is too young and has a lot to learn but is on the way there and does a stellar job without hiding behind complex production. A stripped back skit by a robotic genius. Anyway, that show is a puddles pity party this year but Cowell's gotta do what Cowell's gotta do. 

I am not sure who benefits most from the French Montana / Ghetto kids project. I am told the song is wack (but I don't listen to his music anyway so I wouldn't know); I know ghetto kids are great dancers and probably played part in the Eddy Kenzo legacy. I know he is no longer in the Ghetto, neither is our good Honourable (you know who) but hope the kids are in GEMS Cambridge and staying somewhere in Muyenga too. Otherwise, Montana might be cashing into the same thing we sell: identify with ghettos in music videos and live in Bugolobi in real life. I haven't done much research but I know that Kampala is not just Katwe and something need not be in Mwaara to be African. 

Les Twins have the sort of chemistry that no one else in the business has. Give me an act that has danced together since before they were born. They have original choreo which need not be super clean or textbook but it fits right and tells a story. Whoever is in charge made sure the story ended the way it should have. Les Twins are the dance fairly tale, we do not need to spoil such happy endings. Maybe I have a third eye for such things, maybe they were in their lane; maybe it is not all about hard work, maybe there is such a thing as purpose in life.

Wenger (OUT) badly needs some three points Today against Bournemouth. Hope this French kick inspires him to show some teeth. He's definitely not on a fairly tale roll but this is a dance post so we won't ask him to leave the stage. All good dancers leave at some point, the best leave with a trophy; that's my bit about Les Twins.

TO THOSE CRITICIZING THE REMNANTS FOR HONORING PROPHET ELVIS MBONYE PART 2

FOOL'S PARADISE

Once upon a time, a rich man who was being tormented in the afterlife asked for the Lord to send a "poor" man Lazarus from Abraham's bosom to preach to the rich man's folk on earth. The good Lord's answer was simple, "they have Moses and the prophets, if they cannot listen to them, they will not listen to one who rises from the afterlife".

Aren't many rich, may be in study, information or actual wealth? Times change, technology, egos and information plummet but in reality, people are none the wiser. It is excellence in a fallen state, knowledge after the form of the tree of good and evil. Mankind is on the same old binary divide.
You are either bowing to the cross or wallowing in the folly of a debased mind. It is still a gospel understood by fishermen, shepherds and prostitutes where scholars, kings and priests swing swords and swipe daggers. It is washing in a dirty pool , muddied eyes, costly perfume and issues of blood. It is perishing with pride or being delivered in humility. Where is the honor in what?

Jesus will come again and some will miss him, again! Angels move among us but how many of us know a sublime state outside the bottle and the fig? You may be an expert doctor, engineer, lawyer; but you are a novice at something else. The folly is in trying to give an expert opinion at what you know nothing about. David's response to his brothers is one that continues to ring true, "can't I even speak?" We know how the story ends.

Most of us are familiar with the ins and outs of the apostate culture and have perhaps made its rumblings our very own identity. As such, there aren't many in the echelons of Christendom as we know it who are genuinely schooled in spirituals, much less the faithful born and raised in the veil of stained glass steeple. Thousands of years and we have not agreed which way to baptize people, the difference between a holy and holiday; and in whose name to pray! This ignorance is bliss we relish and are quick to rally behind.

A few have chosen the way of experience rather than argument. Moses, Solomon, Daniel, Paul and many more were at the top of the intellectual chain of their day but they encountered an experience which transcended the mortal deception in their brains.

We could debate you all day if we chose to. It is not the absence of eloquence but the eclipse of it. We do not share the frustration you do because we are not struggling to make a hashtag. Some people will debate the existence of God till they make their way into a corner office in the burning afterlife. You can save a few not by arguing them hoarse but by showing them the transcendent glory of the words of this life. Some will see it, some will not and that is just as well.

While we are at it, I would like you to challenge my experience, then perhaps I can entertain your argument. Ready when you are.

TO THOSE CRITICISING THE REMNANTS FOR HONORING PROPHET ELVIS MBONYE PART 1

NOW THAT WE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!

It helps that you wailed because that makes the work of locating you less tedious. In silence, we could have given you the benefit of you know what but in the clamor and clutter of short circuited grey matter; here we find you. Here is the lie low like an "enverope" tirade. Anti, you asked "foreet"
Common sense is a bare minimum requirement in life and not the ultimate. If you still find your relevance in it, Oh how little the government or whoever it is that runs you life has helped. In the middle lies 50 shades of wisdom, knowledge and understanding. You would know if this trajectory did not send you thinking about Christian Grey! There is such a thing as extra sensory perception of things and only if you have graduated to that should you evoke any sensory connotations. You are not successful in anything under the sun until you have the backing of something supernatural, those who are will know! You play in Kakungulu cup but think you know how to run champions league, who is fooling who?

The things you identify with and pride in, name it and you will find that one of us on this side has been there, done that; we could match you pound for pound. We can parrot gullible, ignoramus better than you and complete with a pie-chart and PPT. Get over your intellectual high horse already because it counts for nought. We come blazing bazookas and atomic bombs and you pull out table knives and tea spoons, like seriously?

One for the Apologetics. "But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was going to betray Him, asked, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?” Judas did not say this because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief. As keeper of the money bag, he used to take from what was put into it.…" (wink wink)

One for the Pharisees. "So a second time they called for the man who had been blind and said, “Give glory to God! We know that this man is a sinner.” He answered, “Whether He is a sinner I do not know. There is one thing I do know: I was blind, but now I see!” “What did He do to you?” they asked. “How did He open your eyes?”. (In our case though, we have seen this man, we have heard him, we have touched him, we have been blessed by him and if there be a righteous man walking the gravel of this earth it is he) Shoot me.

Allow me to digress. Most chaps know nothing supernatural beyond the endless seasons of Game of "Throes" and Harry "Potty". Many people still debate whether Bruce should marry Caityln and they think they have an opinion on matters ether! There is a blanket, a black cloud over the minds of many; while they grope and grab around the dark walls of mortality, they crash and burn in the fires of illusion they have kindled in their wake. Us, we slay the bwengula and don't quote that stuff of "the sky is the limit". It is where we start, all the way to the third heaven (hope you can relate).
Babel fell under the weight of numbers, Sodom and Gomorrah were not short of cynical democracy, Babylon was a match for the civilizations of Today. First world election observers can't agree with a local Supreme Court on who stole what, it is mob cray son! Your fight little one, is ancient; like the pyramids baby! Your argument is frozen and solidly filled like the Rwenzori but it is going nowhere, it never did; it never will. It is a paper tiger that will die a natural death, too bad it will have your name etched on it. You should be worried that most people agree with you, few people worth the name hold their own beyond the chatter of the crowd.

As for us, we were not disobedient to the heavenly vision. Where we saw and heard a clear voice, your blocked ears heard thunderous noises and crickets; and your scaled eyes saw just shadows and floating debris. You are livid that we did not seek your opinion but that's misplaced eruption. We are alive to the fact that you do not have much substance to offer on this side of things and so we saved you the trouble. You surely know the story of Gideon and the 300.

Anywho, when you are done fighting a losing battle, you know where to find us. We'll be doing, uh you guessed it. Adios!

Thursday, 2 November 2017

MY OPEN LETTER TO FRANK GASHUMBA


Your ref: TBA
Our ref: PEM/ Remrev/ 11/2017

02/11/2017

MAXIMUM SECURITY CUSTODY
UPDF/ CMI/ UGANDA POLICE
REPUBLIC OF UGANDA
SUSPECT ENVELOPE
P.O BOX, KAMPALA

Attention: Mr. Frank Gashumba alias et al,

Dear Sir,
              RE: PROPHETIC SCIENCE 101; A PRO BONO MEMO

Your recent infamous arrest refers. Your personal life and going concerns notwithstanding, I wish to bring your attention to the possible land mines and boobytraps you may have moonwalked on in the recent past. The Africans say that you should not test the depth of a river with both feet. If you had kept this in mind, it is fair to say that you would still be on the airwaves, shouting; “Togyikwatako”.
I was not aware of your kwegezamu antics until my good brother Prophet Michael Kiganda called you to order. How baptismal was the moniker, “Gafere”? The real metaphor of this puzzle is that you initiated the concept of INVESTIGATIONS! How convenient?

Despite the endless debates on whether you live in a democratic republic or not, you know well enough that there is a silent albeit overt rule on hierarchy in the real execution of duties. For example, you may abuse the leaders in this country all you want but you would not want to touch the person of the President. There is a Bermuda Triangle in that Constitution called the Fountain of honour. Maybe His Excellency evokes this trump card only in the gravest of circumstances. Yet, I submit to you that however incredible this appears, it still operates in a menial glory.

I am sure you can afford a good lawyer so I will not self-instruct. I will not delve into your options on burden of proof, res gestae, admissibility of evidence and the like. There’s however something I am sure your counsel will not have the scope or context to advise. Consider this my pro bono memo in Prophetic Science 101.

There is an extraterrestrial glory hovering over the affairs of man. To your defense, the prevailing ecclesiastical polity has not done enough to orient the wanainchi into these phenomena. They have not really gone beyond the rhyme of the Beatitudes and the Sermon on the Mount. Some however, have the good sense not to blaspheme celestial beings. This is where, you sir are considerably wanting. The Banyankitara have a saying, “Abatazimanya bazotsy’ emihaako”. I am sure you have enough linguistic filaments to decode this proverb. In the realm you tampered with, the real togyikwatako is Article 1 Chronicles 16:22. When that article is in play, be very careful my friend. A seasoned warrior is killed by stick and stone just because he bears the mark, “uncircumcised philistine”. Entire armies are drowned in seas and others flee at the sound of an illusion. You clearly thought all this stuff a fable until it showed you its nightmarish attributes.

You threw a cold piece of salad and it was served you sizzling like Chinese chicken. You may be a first born of this wrath but there’s no telling who might be next. It is not too late for you but it could get worse. Trust me when I say, there’s a lot more where that came from. I enjoyed my classes on the Canadian prairies, Manitoba and Saskatchewan and I would hate to see the empire of Jacques Cartier come tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty. “We speak to those down here, so that even those above there can hear”. I directly translated this for you, kind Sir.

Let us all be civil, yah! And please know which articles you should mess with and those you should not even allow in your dreams.

Yours sincerely,
Yours Truly,

#Remnant Revolution
#PEM life
#We expose
# Nonya Baano
#Ffuna Size Yo
#Manya wokooma
#Odangamu
#Another one bites the dust