Uganda can sell you an HIV status, Why again do you need Obama?

One affair you will realise is that for sometime now, if you did a desultory Google News search about Uganda, there is bound to be a story or two about the West's reaction to the Anti Gay Act 2014 (let alone the naivete verity that most of them still call it a Bill!) One about a Ugandan clergy who has vowed to fight for LGBT, another about a aid cuts, and yet another about mob justice infernoes of gay couples and whatnot. It is as though there is a specific United Nations department or a full nation at that, devoted to Ugandan gay issues. Yoweri Kaguta Museveni has in my opinion always had the most convincing arguments on the matter; my Human Rights Law background not withstanding. He lays it plainly thus;

 

         "...For years, we (Africans) have watched how you (the West) behave with shock but have kept quite, how you organise your families, how you relate....we have never come to you to say stop behaving like that....but with this new Social Imperialism you come to us and tell us..'behave like us' and we are saying No.!! ..Obama says this and that...but we have nothing to fear, ...if you do not want to do business with us because we have refused to behave the way you behave, we shall do business  with others who respect how we behave.....the mouth is for eating and talking...not for....."

 

I could go on in that unadulterated Partriachal accent for ages but you get the point I suppose. Stakes are that you will seldom chance more clement people like Ugandans but the BBC will have you believe otherwise. So now they decide to do a survey on what it takes to get an HIV negative status and they conclude it is just off the shelf at just $20. Not only did they actually go the length of committing the crimes assuming it is criminal to do so which it is, they evidently managed to show it as one that should potboiler against Ugandans in the Courts of public opinion. So research is actually an excuse to criminal acts I suppose. Nevertheless, on the merits of their unilateral research I suppose it actually helps to bring in South Africans to abhor our HIV wanton fity- fifty deal. South Africa- HIV really?? Interview Ruhakana Rugunda too. You gave him a nod in the UN so now he is the more subtle devil's advocate against his own country. Assuming all he has to say is what his

office has failed to do and not that his comments were recalibrated and master mixed for the plot.

 

So we sell HIV status certificates because apparently we are so evil that we don't only kill gays but also HIV positive people, that is extremely accurate as my fellow Ugandans would agree. Might I remind you though that despite the death penalty in our laws, it is been over a decade since anyone was actully guillotined, but arguable no jobs for the HIV positive huh!! Might I remind you still that what happened in Vietnam, Nagasaki, Iraq, Guantanamo, Yugoslavia and Rwanda gives us opinions about what the West actually cares about?

 

You own the movies, the settelites and the cables. we own the trees, the potbellies; the diseases, mosquitoes and gollillas too. We still live in trees and do not have drinking water and that makes us even more lacking in grey matter. You would be surprised how dispensable (I think Beyonce said that sometime) you are Mr. Obama, despite what heritage you have chosen to identify with. We are not as articulate at using your dialect through our nose but we chatter in our mother tongues more fluently than you will ever decipher and we do talk about you by the way although it all sounds like cling and clatter. We could pay homage to your pinches a bit, but your New Age has not (except for Phat Boy), deluded us from the belief of someone actually greater than your dollars and for the record we are doing just fine however hard that is for you to believe. Be warned, if you insist, we might send to the white house some human eating humans from Rakai, and O boy, do they mean business!!