FOR DANCE LOVERS

You know I have great respect for people who are good at their craft (well now you do!) like really good in an original genius way not karaoke ish. I was an okay dancer myself but I never made a dime from it, thanks to all you herRaz! I try to keep tabs on the biggest talent shows in the world to look out for that diamond in the rough; most times I pick the winner from the auditions and I usually get it right. I didn't give BGT to Tokio Meyers but he was by far the stand out act. I did not give X Factor to Matt Terry and no wonder Syco did not sign him.

Anyhow, there's been this dance show which ended like a month back; World of Dance produced by the ageless Jennifer Lopez. Derek Hough was the out and out dancer on the panel but we can concede that JLo and Neyo have done their share of choreo in music. The show attracted some of the biggest names across different dance genres in the world; Kinjas, Jabba Wokeez, Super Crew etc. From the start, I knew Les Twins would win.

These French 26ish twins (too lazy to google) had that sort of fascinating story. They walked at 5 months (mbu), danced before they could talk and have never had any formal dance training. They couldn't speak much English until they met Beyonce a few years ago. They've toured with big names in the business and this would probably be their American break. Or it would be their first million dollars not francs. 

Their routines were not the cleanest, (you can't beat kinjas on synchronization) they did not do the biggest tricks like high flying super crew nor were they sick contortionists like Eva Igo. With a broken leg, they beat arguably the biggest ballroom duo in the competition. How do you score a perfect mark from one of the judges and still lose to an injured act? People think that the show was rigged, maybe the fact that JLo has twins helped; maybe the categories too. Would they have beaten Kinjas or Jabba Wokeez in a face off early in the competition?

Without Korean group Just Jerk in AGT final, I would only think of Light Balance and Merrick Hanna deserving of any silverware. Merrick is too young and has a lot to learn but is on the way there and does a stellar job without hiding behind complex production. A stripped back skit by a robotic genius. Anyway, that show is a puddles pity party this year but Cowell's gotta do what Cowell's gotta do. 

I am not sure who benefits most from the French Montana / Ghetto kids project. I am told the song is wack (but I don't listen to his music anyway so I wouldn't know); I know ghetto kids are great dancers and probably played part in the Eddy Kenzo legacy. I know he is no longer in the Ghetto, neither is our good Honourable (you know who) but hope the kids are in GEMS Cambridge and staying somewhere in Muyenga too. Otherwise, Montana might be cashing into the same thing we sell: identify with ghettos in music videos and live in Bugolobi in real life. I haven't done much research but I know that Kampala is not just Katwe and something need not be in Mwaara to be African. 

Les Twins have the sort of chemistry that no one else in the business has. Give me an act that has danced together since before they were born. They have original choreo which need not be super clean or textbook but it fits right and tells a story. Whoever is in charge made sure the story ended the way it should have. Les Twins are the dance fairly tale, we do not need to spoil such happy endings. Maybe I have a third eye for such things, maybe they were in their lane; maybe it is not all about hard work, maybe there is such a thing as purpose in life.

Wenger (OUT) badly needs some three points Today against Bournemouth. Hope this French kick inspires him to show some teeth. He's definitely not on a fairly tale roll but this is a dance post so we won't ask him to leave the stage. All good dancers leave at some point, the best leave with a trophy; that's my bit about Les Twins.

TO THOSE CRITICIZING THE REMNANTS FOR HONORING PROPHET ELVIS MBONYE PART 2

FOOL'S PARADISE

Once upon a time, a rich man who was being tormented in the afterlife asked for the Lord to send a "poor" man Lazarus from Abraham's bosom to preach to the rich man's folk on earth. The good Lord's answer was simple, "they have Moses and the prophets, if they cannot listen to them, they will not listen to one who rises from the afterlife".

Aren't many rich, may be in study, information or actual wealth? Times change, technology, egos and information plummet but in reality, people are none the wiser. It is excellence in a fallen state, knowledge after the form of the tree of good and evil. Mankind is on the same old binary divide.

You are either bowing to the cross or wallowing in the folly of a debased mind. It is still a gospel understood by fishermen, shepherds and prostitutes where scholars, kings and priests swing swords and swipe daggers. It is washing in a dirty pool , muddied eyes, costly perfume and issues of blood. It is perishing with pride or being delivered in humility. Where is the honor in what?

Jesus will come again and some will miss him, again! Angels move among us but how many of us know a sublime state outside the bottle and the fig? You may be an expert doctor, engineer, lawyer; but you are a novice at something else. The folly is in trying to give an expert opinion at what you know nothing about. David's response to his brothers is one that continues to ring true, "can't I even speak?" We know how the story ends.

Most of us are familiar with the ins and outs of the apostate culture and have perhaps made its rumblings our very own identity. As such, there aren't many in the echelons of Christendom as we know it who are genuinely schooled in spirituals, much less the faithful born and raised in the veil of stained glass steeple. Thousands of years and we have not agreed which way to baptize people, the difference between a holy and holiday; and in whose name to pray! This ignorance is bliss we relish and are quick to rally behind.

A few have chosen the way of experience rather than argument. Moses, Solomon, Daniel, Paul and many more were at the top of the intellectual chain of their day but they encountered an experience which transcended the mortal deception in their brains.

We could debate you all day if we chose to. It is not the absence of eloquence but the eclipse of it. We do not share the frustration you do because we are not struggling to make a hashtag. Some people will debate the existence of God till they make their way into a corner office in the burning afterlife. You can save a few not by arguing them hoarse but by showing them the transcendent glory of the words of this life. Some will see it, some will not and that is just as well.

While we are at it, I would like you to challenge my experience, then perhaps I can entertain your argument. Ready when you are.

TO THOSE CRITICISING THE REMNANTS FOR HONORING PROPHET ELVIS MBONYE PART 1

NOW THAT WE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!

It helps that you wailed because that makes the work of locating you less tedious. In silence, we could have given you the benefit of you know what but in the clamor and clutter of short circuited grey matter; here we find you. Here is the lie low like an "enverope" tirade. Anti, you asked "foreet"
Common sense is a bare minimum requirement in life and not the ultimate. If you still find your relevance in it, Oh how little the government or whoever it is that runs you life has helped. In the middle lies 50 shades of wisdom, knowledge and understanding. You would know if this trajectory did not send you thinking about Christian Grey! There is such a thing as extra sensory perception of things and only if you have graduated to that should you evoke any sensory connotations. You are not successful in anything under the sun until you have the backing of something supernatural, those who are will know! You play in Kakungulu cup but think you know how to run champions league, who is fooling who?

The things you identify with and pride in, name it and you will find that one of us on this side has been there, done that; we could match you pound for pound. We can parrot gullible, ignoramus better than you and complete with a pie-chart and PPT. Get over your intellectual high horse already because it counts for nought. We come blazing bazookas and atomic bombs and you pull out table knives and tea spoons, like seriously?

One for the Apologetics. "But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was going to betray Him, asked, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?” Judas did not say this because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief. As keeper of the money bag, he used to take from what was put into it.…" (wink wink)

One for the Pharisees. "So a second time they called for the man who had been blind and said, “Give glory to God! We know that this man is a sinner.” He answered, “Whether He is a sinner I do not know. There is one thing I do know: I was blind, but now I see!” “What did He do to you?” they asked. “How did He open your eyes?”. (In our case though, we have seen this man, we have heard him, we have touched him, we have been blessed by him and if there be a righteous man walking the gravel of this earth it is he) Shoot me.

Allow me to digress. Most chaps know nothing supernatural beyond the endless seasons of Game of "Throes" and Harry "Potty". Many people still debate whether Bruce should marry Caityln and they think they have an opinion on matters ether! There is a blanket, a black cloud over the minds of many; while they grope and grab around the dark walls of mortality, they crash and burn in the fires of illusion they have kindled in their wake. Us, we slay the bwengula and don't quote that stuff of "the sky is the limit". It is where we start, all the way to the third heaven (hope you can relate).
Babel fell under the weight of numbers, Sodom and Gomorrah were not short of cynical democracy, Babylon was a match for the civilizations of Today. First world election observers can't agree with a local Supreme Court on who stole what, it is mob cray son! Your fight little one, is ancient; like the pyramids baby! Your argument is frozen and solidly filled like the Rwenzori but it is going nowhere, it never did; it never will. It is a paper tiger that will die a natural death, too bad it will have your name etched on it. You should be worried that most people agree with you, few people worth the name hold their own beyond the chatter of the crowd.

As for us, we were not disobedient to the heavenly vision. Where we saw and heard a clear voice, your blocked ears heard thunderous noises and crickets; and your scaled eyes saw just shadows and floating debris. You are livid that we did not seek your opinion but that's misplaced eruption. We are alive to the fact that you do not have much substance to offer on this side of things and so we saved you the trouble. You surely know the story of Gideon and the 300.

Anywho, when you are done fighting a losing battle, you know where to find us. We'll be doing, uh you guessed it. Adios!

MY OPEN LETTER TO FRANK GASHUMBA

Your ref: TBA
Our ref: PEM/ Remrev/ 11/2017

02/11/2017

MAXIMUM SECURITY CUSTODY
UPDF/ CMI/ UGANDA POLICE
REPUBLIC OF UGANDA
SUSPECT ENVELOPE
P.O BOX, KAMPALA

Attention: Mr. Frank Gashumba alias et al,

Dear Sir,
              RE: PROPHETIC SCIENCE 101; A PRO BONO MEMO

Your recent infamous arrest refers. Your personal life and going concerns notwithstanding, I wish to bring your attention to the possible land mines and boobytraps you may have moonwalked on in the recent past. The Africans say that you should not test the depth of a river with both feet. If you had kept this in mind, it is fair to say that you would still be on the airwaves, shouting; “Togyikwatako”.
I was not aware of your kwegezamu antics until my good brother Prophet Michael Kiganda called you to order. How baptismal was the moniker, “Gafere”? The real metaphor of this puzzle is that you initiated the concept of INVESTIGATIONS! How convenient?

Despite the endless debates on whether you live in a democratic republic or not, you know well enough that there is a silent albeit overt rule on hierarchy in the real execution of duties. For example, you may abuse the leaders in this country all you want but you would not want to touch the person of the President. There is a Bermuda Triangle in that Constitution called the Fountain of honour. Maybe His Excellency evokes this trump card only in the gravest of circumstances. Yet, I submit to you that however incredible this appears, it still operates in a menial glory.

I am sure you can afford a good lawyer so I will not self-instruct. I will not delve into your options on burden of proof, res gestae, admissibility of evidence and the like. There’s however something I am sure your counsel will not have the scope or context to advise. Consider this my pro bono memo in Prophetic Science 101.

There is an extraterrestrial glory hovering over the affairs of man. To your defense, the prevailing ecclesiastical polity has not done enough to orient the wanainchi into these phenomena. They have not really gone beyond the rhyme of the Beatitudes and the Sermon on the Mount. Some however, have the good sense not to blaspheme celestial beings. This is where, you sir are considerably wanting. The Banyankitara have a saying, “Abatazimanya bazotsy’ emihaako”. I am sure you have enough linguistic filaments to decode this proverb. In the realm you tampered with, the real togyikwatako is Article 1 Chronicles 16:22. When that article is in play, be very careful my friend. A seasoned warrior is killed by stick and stone just because he bears the mark, “uncircumcised philistine”. Entire armies are drowned in seas and others flee at the sound of an illusion. You clearly thought all this stuff a fable until it showed you its nightmarish attributes.

You threw a cold piece of salad and it was served you sizzling like Chinese chicken. You may be a first born of this wrath but there’s no telling who might be next. It is not too late for you but it could get worse. Trust me when I say, there’s a lot more where that came from. I enjoyed my classes on the Canadian prairies, Manitoba and Saskatchewan and I would hate to see the empire of Jacques Cartier come tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty. “We speak to those down here, so that even those above there can hear”. I directly translated this for you, kind Sir.

Let us all be civil, yah! And please know which articles you should mess with and those you should not even allow in your dreams.

Yours sincerely,
Yours Truly,

#Remnant Revolution
#PEM life
#We expose
# Nonya Baano
#Ffuna Size Yo
#Manya wokooma
#Odangamu
#Another one bites the dust

SPOTLIGHT ON THE USA!

Living as we do in the age of empiricism, it is not hard for people to quickly jump on to and trust their lives to a stack of data, statistics and supposed deductions by science. If science is a religion, it certainly has managed to convert the globe. Education systems, fiscal policies and governments are run on some scientific this or that. Look around you and you will fill this list faster than you thought.

To think that the biggest things we wager our lives on might be merely illusory and what we consider illusions might be the real deal; is extremely scary. What if all those statistics you have based on to make your career decisions, run your country or build an empire are just a lie, what then?

On the flip side, what if we were as good at reading transcendent phenomena as we are in dissecting mortal jamboree. Before your best weather channel was set up, someone rebuked a group of experts on how easily they could read the wind and skies; tell when it would rain but could not equally discern matters of eternal substance. That’s my challenge to those who do not wish to denounce their faith in, well you know what! What if the picture being too big for the quality of lens you are using; would you expand your vision?

At the close of last year, a heated Presidential race between Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton was one of the biggest stories out there. Riveting eyeballs from all over the globe, there seemed to be battles not just for the oval, but wars of ideology, feminism, immigration, racism and pretty much every ism! Whoever cared to follow, knew who the mainstream media and the pattern of this age were backing. The prophets and evangelists of pop culture were scampering to endorse Hilary and denounce Trump for religious, chauvinistic and other reasons. We all know how that chapter ended, but was it just so another page or book would open into even something bigger? Why didn’t the election go as obviously as George Clooney and Barrack Obama predicted? Was there a Russian or supra Russian hand? Beyond living in denial, impeachment and twitter jazz; Obamacare and bla bla care, what does the Trump era mean for the eagle?

The Tsunami alert rate across the US seems to be heightening by the month. Is there a tectonic plate riot or is a school master swinging the whip? That shooting in Las Vegas, why was it not by a black “gang” member or a Muslim “terrorist”. Would the fact that the shooter was a middle-aged Caucasian “guy next door” mean the end of the American dream as we know it? Or are we still operating in the realm of coincidence and peradventure?

Allow me though to go to the spark that ignited this rhetoric. At the beginning of the year, Prophet Elvis Mbonye stood in a small East African country called Uganda, and in what some might call pre-cognition, listed several outcomes of the Oscars 2017. If you are not into movies, the Oscars is one of the biggest movie academy awards in the world. By this time, you know that I will not delve into a discussion on transcendence vs science. But why a Ugandan seeing something in the USA? Why the Oscars? Why would a portal open in the sky upon Malibu, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, West Wood and Bel Air when these are the places that have somewhat succeeded in pushing out the need for God? Why would the “pious God” who dwells in holy unapproachable light be interested in the affairs of the Caitlyn Jenners and Ryan Seacrests? The debate continues.

A few weeks back, a certain death rattled the internet. The pictures showed a very old man that I had never heard of. I scoured the ether to see what was so special about Hugh Hefner. I realized that I at least had stumbled on his brand name somewhere, the mansion is in a few motion pictures. But guess what, was this the man behind explicit publication and amorous expression? Did he fight through a legal system to make this lifestyle the future? Maybe the business is already entrenched, but I have learnt not to take lightly such signs as when lighting strikes the tip of the mountain.

Only yesterday, another unfamiliar name broke the internet. Another sex scandal bigger than the legend of Cosby. I have seen Miramax before, as I have Tristar, Sony, Columbia, Meltro Goldwin Meyer and Universal pictures but seldom do I know the names of movie producers and screen writers. A man so powerful to threaten the careers of Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow if they dared speak about what happened behind closed doors. What had happened in the dark for decades has been brought to light, dragging in names like Matt Daemon, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lawrence. The trail of Harvey’s influence stretches to Obama’s check book, motion picture elitism and the whole entertainment industry as is known. Another one bites the dust but is there more than meets the eye?

As they ate and drunk, just as in the days of Noah; sudden calamity struck and the ark sashayed on the floods that were drowning the multitudes below. Today is not a day I talk about North Korea, but this and many telltale signs should awake the 7000 in America.

OF CHARLIE PUTH AND PERFECT PITCH

Let's Marvin Gaye and gerriron.

Part 1.

We'll get to that in a bit but hear me out. You do not have to believe this part of the post. I have done and do a few things but I do not think I am yet as invested as I was in the only four years that I did formal music training at Ntare Sch school. Now, I've tried soccer, basketball, lawn and table tennis and volleyball. From very obvious dribble attempts, mosquito weight to late challenges I was a good student of, "if you miss the ball, don't miss the leg". Super telle had more realistic weight than the real ball when hit by Ndahagire Angel... Kinda like Roberto Carlos. Butter fingers and mountaineering height made sure that though I was a good shooter in the D (why is it called that?) I always avoided layups. Most guys on the baco were like Norman Blick and Ring Acuil Banggol. 

Aside from the esoteric slang they spewed, every time I marked one, he shouted "mismatch" and dunked miles above my head like I didn't exist. My biggest trick is I'd put my hand under the ball if you tried to dribble show off. I thought it was clever but the umps cried fowl. I still carry the volley ball when I try to set and my Barcelona service is not as fast as Izara Ambrose's. I tried cricket for a day and all my bowl attempts were stones. I think Carbon Davis is a witch. The one time I tried rugby, Zeno Othieno Owora broke all my joints and then I noticed Ken Ken Mwebembezi and Karanganwa Michael with their chubby cheeks and one pack could format and reboot my dental formula in one scrum gone bad. I tried athletics and Kakeeto Martin doubled me before the second round and I was discontinued. So lame (the rules) ikr!

But I was a beast in the treble clef. I was a constant fixture in the story of Ntare school MDD from 2002 to 2005 in which years we made national rounds for the first time and I don't know if they've managed an appearance since. These were the years of Ganzi Muhanguzi Isharaza and the epic Tonix Allan.

Till I see you again.

Part 2

So as I was saying. It was more fun to harmonize 16 bars in two inversions without worrying about consecutive fifths and overlapping notes. How cool is transcribing an aural tape with pin point accuracy of all the intervals and cadences. Forget about boring valences, nothing beats being able to decode hundreds of pages of a Mozart or Haydn score and being able to recite all the developments in classical, romantic and baroque periods. (Too bad I couldn't use such skill to recite Napoleon Bonaparte and Mansa Musa).

But those skeleton sticks with short feet are not everyone's cup of tea. Sijui quiver, crotchet, minim (I think this was Oidu Simon Peter's name)! The Julliards and Berkley of this world are set up to train people in the weird language called music but training is one thing and genius another. Look at Messi and Bendtner or Antonio Valencia then you'll get the point.

Maybe it's true for everybody but I can effortlessly memorize any melodic EP in perfect sequence with one listen. It is second nature to replay hundreds of thousands of songs from as far back as 1994 but I don't even know what the valency of carbon monoxide is. I think my prowess though was even far from relative pitch. The one time I won an award for conducting a choir, we sang off key. I knew the time signatures alright but I confused the harmonies. In my early years of worship leading, I always transposed a semitone higher than the keyboard; it is possible I still mix tenor and alto notes. Anyhow, my voice broke, Uganda happened, we all chased other dreams. (still glad I didn't have to do maths and chemistry though!) Shurrupz to ma pips Joshua Storm and Muhumuza Trevor Peter. You kept the music thing going. 

Yet when we talk of Charlie Puth, we mean 1 in 10,000 people alive. We mean Mariah Carley, Stevie Wonder, Freddy Mercury and Beethoven.

We don't talk anymore

Part 3.

My coitus with music has been largely limited to expression of faith and that's my chosen monogamy. Yet having picked a few syllables in the dialect, every so often I eavesdrop on warrup. So this boy was trained by his mother a music teacher to play piano at 4 years, he broke his first teeth on the middle C (maybe playing "pressure on the G string" ) and the rest is his story. He turned weirdo when he would come home saying, "mummy, the wind is blowing in F sharp". This earned him a free bed in a psychiatric procedure.

From classical training, to jazz gigs, you tube frenzy; he landed on the Ellen show with a more seasoned friend who had enlisted him to cover Adele. Years down the road, the friend is auditioning for an 100K USD recording contract at the voice, while Charlie is churning out multi platinum hits and scoring sound tracks for the biggest movie franchises.

Hardly anybody talks about his beat boxing. In the wake of Pentatonix and the several capella acts out there, you know that beat boxing is not that easy. But this beast of vocal producer belts out over four layers of vocal arrangements in one breath to entertain ladies at a bar. It's so good that the likes of Ariana Grande use his vocal twist clap as an intro to their hits and he doesn't care for credit.

Attention.

Part 4

He didn't get me until the buzz about voice notes . There are Sia, Ed Sheeran, Clean Bandit and Adele in the hierarchy of contemporary songwriting. But this kid moves around with an iPhone arranging progressions for instruments he can't play in real life. No wonder as a kid, he once played a one hour mass from memory when the organist boycotted ash Wednesday. I always wondered how lady Gaga could write poker face, just dance and Alejandro under ten minutes in a world of one hit wonders.
It reminds me of the first time I saw Prophet Elvis Mbonye. Mind you, I had been around pentecostal charismatic circles for a good decade or so, so Brother Jero and the gimmicks of the penitent had nothing on me. I knew that in Africa, we believed that the dark forces could pull a few rabbits out of the hat but we preferred a cold snack on Sunday morning in a lifeless pew. Some prefer the old hymnal procession and others the loud kiwempe three chord antecedent and consequent choruses. For some, it is the old black clap clap frenzy and for others the rock over produced Australian vibe with a projector and in accents they can't repeat.

Being the keen observer, I saw a genuineness I had never encountered, I saw originality and authenticity incarnate. He seemed not to audition for anything or smile for that fish eye shot. He walked like a man on a pilgrimage skirting through a slight detour on a foreign island. Then he started picking names, birthdays and phone numbers and I was like wt*?! But there was no fear or condemnation and such creepy feelings around jaja stuffs. Then he seemed to love everyone, and then..... Okay this might not end. Point is, wonders never cease and my idea of church was rearranged like a Wandegeya rolex.

So back to Charlie, guy drops a salt shaker on the table and says that the resultant sound is between A and B#. Like whas goinon? I took a seat. These days I seat faster than someone wearing a pair of torn trousers. In fact, I carry some seats in my wallet in case I meet that one person who dwarfs the status quo and shows me something I thought inhumanly possible.
END

WHY RUKUNGIRI IS NOT JUST A FOOTNOTE IN UGANDAN POLITICS

Today is the first time I have seen Rukungiri top the twitter trends but it comes as no surprise in times like these.

It probably has the most exotic sounding name of all Ugandan districts and I am not even sure what the proper accent for pronouncing it is yet. As part of the original Kigezi or rather Rukiga geography, Rukungiri is a land of mixed farmers herded on hilly slopes of arable land.

Though the weather is not much different from that in Kabale, the people in Rukungiri particularly in Rujumbura speak more of the Nkore language rather than Rukiga. There is a debate on whether they are Bahororo or were ruled by the Bahororo hence the mix up.

The history is littered with chiefdom, resistances, expansionism and connection with the greater Rwanda and Ituri people. The real economic cash cow remained with Kanungu in the form of Bwindi and Queen Elizabeth National parks. That in my opinion is perhaps why the town does not seem to change much in decades. There is not much going on in terms of development.

But this often forgotten district has stamped its mark on Ugandan politics,perhaps owing to the resilient nature of its people. Aside from key army generals from this place, there is a trail of fodder on the President's own links to the district. In the late 90's there was a club of political elites from the district which disbanded with the advent of opposition politics.

In 1996, I witnessed first hand how a young boy from our school fell from a rally truck and broke his leg under the ensuing traffic of a political motorcade. In 2001, we were restrained indoors as we heard the shootout of police near the district stadium during another rally. Today, another young man died in no different circumstances. Someone's son, someone I might know; millennial Ugandan blood irrigating the soil in ideological differences way above his pay grade.

The stark difference between municipality and "district" appreciation of politics and consensus has meant that even if Rukungiri is the place where the FDC leader hails from, cohesion has been far from reality. The municipality has however remained a vocal hub of opposition politics if its representation is anything to go by. The script of Ugandan politics is a confusing tapestry, some actors take on jester roles and others are worse off- mere props. Sometimes, it is hard to tell who is fooling who? Sometimes, nobody knows who is playing for what team or what the marching orders are. Marxism and the Communism offshoot have been a forlorn relic of the cold war. The cycle to nirvana is seldom completed and the idea of a lumpen proletariat one that did not formidably survive Bonarparte. Occasionally, some buds flirt with the warm rays before the inevitable nip.

Economically, Rukungiri is probably one of the districts that suffers most from the stratification and micro-decentralization. If as is; to scratch from the dregs of a transparent glass; it cannot be faulted for being apolitical.

Re-thinking Government Intervention in Regulation of Religious Activities in Uganda

Over the past couple of weeks there has been growing talk on the Government’s intention of passing a law to further regulate certain religious and spiritual establishments. Something else I have seen was the supposed move by the Uganda Communications Commission (UCC) to ban adverts of religious and or spiritual emphases. I am yet to read the actual policy documents and possible minutes of these developments and should add that I am not particularly comfortable basing on media reports for accurate information on what is on ground.

That said, I surmise that it is not entirely premature for all concerned to introspect on how we contribute to such conversations and if our involvement or indifference absolves us from inevitable consequences if ideological divides are crystallized into law. My contribution to this discussion is limited to two aspects: The Constitutionality of such moves and the narrow spectrum of Ecclesiastical Polity. For our present purposes, I do not intend to be too technically specific but will try to point us to sources of detailed discussions of relevant aspects. I also will not be generous enough to offer technical definitions and detailed context of some of the perspectives I present. I also labour to avoid an academic approach to this conversation so that despite our varied vocations we may benefit from the conversation.

CONSTITUTIONALITY

Uganda is considered a constitutional democracy. This simply means that the people of Uganda have power of self-government, have consolidated a baseline of their wishes in a document called a Constitution and through majority participation (universal suffrage / referenda) or representative participation (through institutions like Parliament) interact with the relevant frameworks of how they wish to be governed.

Uganda is governed under the Constitution of 1995 and some of the relevant clauses in that document are those declaring Uganda a secular state and as such must not adopt a state religion. The others relate to religious freedom, freedom of association, right to information and freedom of speech. The Constitution is also clear that any other law passed or in place is valid only as far as it is consistent with the people’s wishes enshrined in the Constitution.

What does it meant to be a secular state or not to adopt a state religion? That is a fair question to ask since most of the policy outlay is seldom explicit with clear language on possible intention or conflict. The actual test of such Constitutional guarantees is usually broad and far reaching enough to comfort the citizens on why they chose to be governed that way in the first place. For a law to be consistent with the spirit of our Article 7 (secular State), it must satisfy four tests: (i) It must not be seen to establish religion. (ii) It must not serve a religious purpose. (iii) It must not endorse a specific religion. (iv) It must not show that Government is being entangled with religion. (I have discussed these tests in a previous “academic” paper on a different subject: available at  https://cepa.or.ug/analysis-of-cultural-and-constitutional-responses-to-comprehensive-sexuality-education-in-uganda/ )

Evidently the world has classic examples of religious states such as Sudan, Saudi Arabia, Indonesia etcetera and they are not necessarily failing states just because of their religious inclination (depending on the parameters in question). However, when a people decide to take a secular path, laws passed must serve a secular purpose and more importantly be consistent with the cardinal wishes of such people especially those which are expressly evidenced in the Constitution (grund norm). A more meticulous examination of existing regulation would reveal that without prejudice to presumptions of innocence and the burden of proving specific bits and pieces, most if not all possible indiscretions are properly covered by penal laws, corporate structure and tax laws. That is not to say that killing in the name of God is not to be prohibited. Certainly, there is no place in civilisation for jihads, crusades (strictu senso) and forms of mutilation shrouded in religious practice. We cannot ignore the fact that some of the worst atrocities committed in recent history have resulted from states using public trust machinery to castigate religious components albeit too harshly. A sledge hammer to kill a fly approach usually boarders on violating clear Constitutional principles and may lead to a costly process when citizens choose to challenge it at whatever stage. Public accountability best practices would demand that all boxes are ticked before policy decisions are made or implemented.

ECCLESIASTICAL POLITY

This is just a fancy term to refer to how religious setups are governed. Obviously, it covers all historical debates on religious governance, the possibilities and in there somewhere, the regrets and benefits we can credit for millennia of co-existence. Religious teaching is generous on perspectives of honouring leadership and that is just as well. On the flip side, there is risk of forming an abhorrent sort of unholy alliance. Sometimes the line between some sort of affirmative action and political convenience is blurred so much so that several elements / assets of government may be deployed for benefit that may be inconsistent with fundamentals of the given religious outfit itself and legitimate Constitutional expectations that people might have of their political representatives. To coin a term, I might say that we at times condone a type of “religious corruption”.

Having for a fair number of years taught a university class titled “Law, Christian and Political Thought” and inevitably marinated thousands of ancient texts and graded a few opinions, I request to earn the right to have a favourite topic and character. This is none other than Richard Hooker aka the Angelic Doctor. As a lawyer, politician, lawmaker, writer and theologian who lived at the heart of the advanced puritan reformation in ancient Europe and at a time of glaring conflicts between church and state, he had one or two nuggets to both parties in their respective spaces of expertise. He popularly posited that even for those who wished to use scripture to inform their governance, there was a difference amongst natural law, social law, political law and religious law (Of the Lawes of Ecclesiastical Politie). It should not take too much intellectual investment for us to understand why rocks do not grow flowers, fish do not fly, why we rarely tame lions or why we should not cut all trees; why we do not all drive on the left or right side of the road as a matter of discretion, why we are not all presidents and why even spiritually we manifest different results and expressions. There is expected to be an inalienable stratification of different forms of divine order and sometimes the challenges we face relate to how we properly appropriate them.

When religious leaders run to state machinery to regulate expressions or emphases they consider different from theirs, or if the state coffers are relieved to facilitate religious causes outside proper Constitutional quotas and processes one of two parties might have some clarification to make. Then again, it takes two to tango. 

By Matsiko Godwin Muhwezi

Corporate Lawyer & Lecturer

*first published on matsikogdwin.blospot.com ©