I heard Right Honourable Most Reverend Father Ethics and Integrity Minister Lokudu, ( that is my short form for his name) on radio this morning saying that the Anti-Pornography Bill was a decade long over due. Before I take leave of the aside about titles, what's this thing of Kanyeihamba insisting on being called, Honourable, Dr. Professor, Retired Justice.... Emeritus blah blah. ( We get it, and I like your books by the way, but surely the higher you go the better you should become at simplicity, or at least learn how to retire...just saying). I hope you find your P.C soon enough to appear before your juniors in Court.
Anyway so mini-skirt stuff it is we are talking about. Is it the love for precision that orchestrated this bitter-sweet design? The lack of patience to weave through the layers of gomesi or Victorian dresses as and when the impulse requires? Was it a concession to amorous expediency, or was it a genuine effort to advance the fashion revolution. If you've watched that comedy last God-father movie (now check this review pane telling me that the word movie doesn't exist), it was probably a result of some moron wanton son trying to distort a lady's wardrobe.
In the age of instant coffee, instant (sorry, fast foods), instant cash; talk of ATM's, e banking( most of us reading this haven't yet used this but it is forgiveable), mobile money(do I here an Amen?); do we need micro skirts to expedite instant bedroom? Not to say that I am one given to rumour, but word on the street is that the way to justify world record extra marital world cup qualifiers among the corporate is because they don't have to wait for night time. That a guy drops his wife at work at maybe 8.00am, at 10.00a.m she has a corporate meeting at Serena with her boss; she is back in office by 1.00pm in case the hapless romantic would like to call in for lunchtime sweet some-things.
Believe me, no one is hoodwinked into thinking that most people are holier than thou, and that is the reason why they probably oppose certain parameters. You minimise your browser when someone walks in, we get it, your phone downloads a lot of VIP photos ( kim Kardashian and Salvado), we get it; you don't forward certain movie parts (let alone why you are watching it in the first place); we get it. No one is even asking about the wall paper or screen-savers to your comp n stuff. When your eyes linger a bit longer than is reflex when something vibrates across your retina, is that questionable?, and what if your mind gets volatile every one-two seconds about what we should not rather see you see? You are probably one of the few ugandans who love BBA so much that you subscribe to a you-tube version of shower hour - we get it. Just tell me this one thing, do you think your are the worst homo-sapien in this Great Trek? Possibly, maybe not, but does it really matter? Maybe so but so what? LK4 Welcome back, make sure Koketso passes by.
I don't know who owns those posh cars which park near female-only hostels in the evenings. Logically, apart from a few Zaris and Bad Blacks, only people older than our independence drive such cars. (Of-course Zari and Bad gal don't count coz they probably were in such hostels and then butted the whole class to earn their place, right?). I bet some such people have a say in our land so I doubt they will let the bill be made law because the breathalyser is already causing mayhem. The Indians don't count but anyway most of them are on scooters, (Where does all their dime go? saving for another AMIN?). Even you who drive your parents' cars don't count! (kidding, so why are you sulking?).
If you have perv issues, we all do to some extent and we are working on it; so do your part, sort yourself our okay? It is possibly self consciousness and you need some attention, we are just saying you should deal with your insecurity. Just show us what we need to see to transact with you.( Depending on what it is you are selling and I hope it is appropriation we are all talking about). Someone said that even bad boys want to take a gomesi clad lady to their parents, just so you know how far you get. I understand he might not tell you this but that is probably there is not noble ultimate intention.
If we have to talk about mini anything, taxis should get off the road ASAP. I need brief campaigns, because then we save tax payers money, brief speeches, because then politicians do not have to sleep on TV without paying lodge fees. I need brief red-tape because then stuff could be done, I need brief queues in banks because then I can pay my fees. I need an earlier retirement age because then we can fill vacant positions. I don't know if I need brief presidential terms because then I might end up in Luzira. One thing is for sure, I don't own a mini-skirt and it is REALLY IMPORTANT that I dictate someone's wardrobe. Really important.
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